I Need to be Honest.
I know that it’s been quite some time since most of you have heard from me. While I have remained available for appointments for those who reached out, I really haven’t actively engaged much over the last year.
I need to be honest with you: I simply couldn’t. I didn’t have it in me.
Let’s be real, 2020 was no joke. While I was fortunate in so many ways in 2020, I would be remiss if I didn’t recognize some of the challenges that did have an impact on me, and also on my business and clients. I went through most of last year with my patented “I’m fine; every problem has a solution” attitude. While I won’t say that attitude hasn’t served me well (it has), it also has a tendency to be my excuse to push myself too hard. Which is exactly what I tell my clients not to do. As the saying goes: what goes up, must come down. And down I came. One might even describe it as a “crash”. If I am being really honest, 2020 was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back; I was burning the candle at both ends for several years before that which, in and of itself wouldn’t have been as bad had I been more intentional in caring for myself. It doesn’t help that I’m a fairly (read: extremely) stubborn person, so I’m sure I ignored plenty of signs prior to this point.
Then this little thing called grief hit me.
Grief is such a strange animal. It can come in waves, and some of them are ok and you can beep breathe through them. Some of them knock you on your butt. And sometimes you don’t even know it’s a grief wave at all.
As many of you are already aware, I chose to close my physical office in February 2020 due to sanitary concerns following the major renovations that were performed on that building in late 2019 and early 2020, pre-COVID. While I had planned to find a new office to move to, the pandemic had other ideas. I also had to make the impossible choice to lay off my amazing team due to COVID. It took me many months to realize the emotional impact this had on me (one of those waves you don’t recognize as grief until later). Shortly after that my father, Dr. Hugh, passed away. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how deeply that loss is felt (knock you on your butt wave). As an aside, thank you to all of you who reached out regarding my father. If I didn’t get back to you, I apologize, I was underwater at the time.
There comes a point where the nervous system has had enough, and it will let you know. I reached that limit and my nervous system let me know. For several months of 2020, I was almost literally paralyzed. Frozen. Exhausted does not even begin to describe the feeling. I know that many of you know what I mean because you’ve shared it with me.
So, I rested.
Of course, I still had to work and maintain not only my business, but now my father’s supplement company, but all I could do was the bare minimum to keep them from going under from neglect. I needed to recover. I needed to remember how to care for myself, how to prioritize my own health, and how it felt to feel good again. I needed to practice what I preach.
I needed help.
Yes, I went back to school so that I could help myself as well as to help others find their way back to health. But healing is a journey that requires support, and I am no different. I knew I couldn’t do this alone; I couldn’t see my way out of this one in the state that I was in. I am beyond grateful to have access to some of the most amazing health care providers in the country as friends, colleagues, and teachers. So, I got help. Between chiropractic, acupuncture and Chinese medicine, naturopathy, integrative medicine, and mental health work (yep, you better believe I pulled out all the stops) I am grateful to say that I’m finally feeling more like Justice again. But it took me almost a year, a ton of rest, and a lot of work. And even more support from literally the best support system anyone could ever ask for, which includes non-healthcare providers too. The support of my husband, siblings, friends, and my team (even when they weren’t “officially” working for me) was invaluable and I am forever grateful. I’m not 100% yet, but I’m well on my way.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do I want to do it again? Uhm, no thank you. Am I sorry that I fell off the map? No. Not even a little.
Don’t get me wrong, you, my clients, mean the world to me. I LOVE my clients! I have to love me more, though. Because if I don’t put myself first, then I can’t be here for you in any capacity that is useful. So falling off the map is what I needed to heal, and I’m not sorry for that.
Now, don’t think that I didn’t think of you at all while I was recuperating. You all should know by now that when I go through something, I’m always thinking of how I can turn it into a learning experience. And, boy, did I learn a LOT from this.
1) Know your limits. Once you’ve found the limit, don’t push it. The point of knowing the limit is knowing when to stop, not when to accelerate faster.
2) Set boundaries and Honor Them. Boundaries are no good if you don’t honor them, but they can do a world of good for your health if you stick to them.
3) Get Help. There’s no shame in admitting when you need help. We can’t do it all.
4) Put yourself first. If you don’t, who will?
The one big takeaway for me, however, is how fortunate I am to have access to all of these amazing practitioners. I know that I would not have healed as quickly as I did have I not been able to work with them. Because of that, I decided to restructure Harmony Health Institute. What better time to do that than now?
Over the next several weeks we will begin rolling out the Harmony Health Collective, and I cannot tell you how excited I am! I want you all to have the same access to the same amazing practitioners that helped me on my healing journey, all in one place. We are also in full swing writing new educational courses that will be available to you, as well as many new services.
As always, my goal is to provide exceptional and affordable health support and I believe that the Harmony Health Collective will only serve to expand that mission.
Thank you for your continued support and patience with me during my recovery.
I am here for you; WE are here for you.